Dear Alex Cora: A Few Simple Suggestions to Guarantee Your Success

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By Ted Gay – @TedG63

I am looking forward to Alex Cora having a successful career in Boston.  I do have some simple, easily attainable suggestions that will help him become an outstanding Red Sox manager.


Win every game:  Of course, I don’t mean every game.  We don’t have to win all the spring training contests.  Just most of them.  Once the season starts, the Sox need to go 162-0, sweep the ALDS, ALCS and the World Series.  That would be a nice start.


But that’s not all.


Do not trail after the sixth inning:   Mr. Cora you will find out very quickly that we are an understanding fan base.  We know some of the starters that bum Dombrowski stuck you with will fail in the early innings.  But your lineup needs to produce runs to slash that deficit.  After that, you need to manage the bullpen, so they don’t relinquish the lead.  If you bring in a reliever who gives up on a run after the sixth inning, you obviously can’t manage a bullpen and are done in this city.  Done!  But don’t worry.  You will be fine.


Do not overuse Craig Kimbrel:  If you ask Kimbrel to get four or five outs, you are going to wear him down, and Kimbrel will be less effective at the end of the season.  Make sure he has enough fuel in the tank to get through October.


Do not be afraid to use Kimbrel in the eighth:   Outs in the eighth inning can be more critical than outs in the ninth.  Kimbrel is useless if we lose the lead in the eighth.  Every run counts!


Solve the team’s likability issue:  Red Sox fans did not like this team last year.  They don’t know why.  They just didn’t like the cut of their collective gib.  Cora must instruct Red Sox players to answer each query with, “I’m just trying to contribute and help this team win for the world’s greatest fans, who live in the best city in America, where the adults are all good looking, and the children exceptional.”  And stop the dancing outfielders!  There is something effeminate and unamerican about dancing in the outfield.  On the other hand, eight football players in full gear playing leapfrog after scoring a touchdown is the height of masculinity.


Do not have any players thrown out at home plate:  Yes, it is the third base coach’s fault, but you hired him.   Any third base coach who allows a player to be thrown out at home needs to be fired immediately after the game live on the NESN postgame show.


Respect the Eck:  Do not allow players to criticize Dennis Eckersley to his face.  Not on a plane, not on a train, not in a cab, not even in an Uber.  Even if Eck calls their daughter an annoying little pissant on the air, you must instruct the player to go home and talk to his daughter about toning it down.


Get some new friends:  It wouldn’t hurt to have a good friend named Sully or Murph.  Irish is good, Irish Catholic is better, Irish Catholic recovering (wink) alcoholic is the best.

See, we are not unreasonable. We are sure you can easily achieve all of these goals.  We look forward to our mutual success.



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