By Ted Gay – @TedG63
Excerpts From John Farrell’s Personal Diary: March 29, 2018 – April 15, 2018
March 29, 2018 – Dear Diary: Today has been the best day. The Red Sox bullpen blew Opening Day. The fans and media don’t have good old John Farrell to kick around anymore. HA! I can’t wait to see Alex Cora skewered for mismanaging the bullpen Joe Kelly to start the eighth? Nice work Cora. I would never have made that move. Matt Barnes was my guy. These Boston fans are going to learn I did a great job but was saddled with a bunch of under-achieving bums. I am sure John Henry will be contacting me to come back soon. I will make him sweat a few days before I say yes.
March 30, 2010 – Dear Diary: Congratulations Alex Cora on your first of few wins as a Red Sox manager. I always said David Price makes excellent pitches, even when he didn’t get out of the first inning. I do wish Cora luck with these hitless wonders. One run off of Blake Snell? So much for the “launch” hitting philosophy. Get ready for lots more days like this. I still expect to be begged about returning. As so many of my players said when they were under my thumb “FML” which, according to Luke, means “Feeling Much Love.” Right now I am FML.
March 31, 2018 – Dear Diary: If Xander Bogaerts hit and Rick Porcello pitched like that for me I would have had a new three-year contract. Congratulations Cora, you have a winning record, now try to win a game outside of Tampa. And good luck on those two not breaking down over 162 games.
April 1, 2018 – Dear Diary: I am sure the totally biased and fake Boston news media will have nothing negative to say about Cora after he fell face first into a win today. Using Kelly in the ninth? Only winning 2-1 over the AAA Rays? They would have lambasted Farrell. Where is the fairness?
April 2, 2018 – Dear Diary: The Red Sox may be 4-1, but all the talk on Twitter is about me. I saw one young man write “The Sox are playing great #AF.” Luke told me #AF means After Farrell. I may be gone, but I am still on the minds of every Sox fan. I don’t know why someone wrote “Paper Boi on Atlanta is funny #AF. “ Why did he get funnier after I was fired?
April 3, 2018 – Dear Diary: Two straight against the Marlins? Big whoop. The honeymoon is over Cora. Time to enter the shark tank at Fenway.
April 5, 2018 – Dear Diary: A healthy Hanley makes a bad manager look good. The fake news Boston media should have spent the night talking about how Cora blew Opening Day at Fenway by bringing Carson Smith in to pitch the eighth. Instead, thanks to Bogaerts, who usually only produced for me after being threatened with benching, and Hanley, both the overrated bench coach look like a good manager. We will see how smart he is when he has to win without Hanley or Bogaerts.
April 8, 2018 – Dear Diary – FML! Luke just admitted to me that FML doesn’t mean “feeling much love” but “feeling mighty low,” and that is how I am right now. I don’t know why those boys play so good for the overrated bench coach while they sucked for me. Did Cora use my strategy of telling Andrew Benintendi that if he didn’t produce a go-ahead double he would be sent down? If he did, then I should get credit for the victory. And if he didn’t then I don’t know how he is motivating these guys. Why did so many players “feel mighty low” when they were playing for me? It must have been personal problems. And Brian Butterfield was a dick!
April 10, 2018 – Dear Diary – I sent this note to Brian Cashman. “Dear Brian. I don’t know if you remember me. My name is John Farrell, and I used to manage the Boston Red Sox. I understand you are having managerial problems. I recently won a World Series and have a full proof plan to beat the Red Sox. It involves a poorly managed bullpen and creating clubhouse tension. If you need to reach me, I am living on the air in Cincinnati, Cincinnati WKRP.”
April 11, 2018 – Dear Diary – I have the biggest man crush on Giancarlo Stanton right now. More so than Tony Massarotti’s and he has been gushing since Stanton was traded. I don’t think I have ever been happier. Eat Yankee dust, Cora!
April 12, 2018 – Dear Diary – Seriously, Cashman, give me a call. I couldn’t possibly do worse than Aaron Boone. I can’t watch the Red Sox anymore. My blood pressure is high #AF,
April 15, 2018 – Dear Diary: Three straight against the Orioles with Bogaerts, Betts, and Ramirez all missing games? FML! Seriously. FML!!!!